In my last post i was talking about perception. I often think about it..usually when high:) About a week ago I took some acid and started thinking about my life. If we look at point of view would be: a guy who’s not fond of his job, walks his dog, stays in bed for 12-14 hours a day, gets high and drinks gallons of coffee – promising ha?:)
Jesus..i never write, or read books for that matter…I believe the information I need will cross my path when needed..I don’t believe in coincidences.. so..the lone fact I’m writing about my “lost” life…am I doing that because I need to read it to realize that I’m fu****?:)
Naaah..that can’t be right;)
Cos the other point of view would be: Ok..I’m not fond of my job..true..its basically just a cheap ATM, but i am looking for other options, I spend majority of the day in bed, because I meditate for about 5 hours a day, I take psychadelics to learn something new about myself and the universe, etc..and I do feel I’m on a verge of something big.. It’s all about perspective..and I know..It’ not easy to be all hyped up and looking at the bright side 24/7..BUT the universe is math and one basic rule of math is : If you take minus out of the equation, the result can’t be negative.. amazing as it can still causes many problems.. In many cases when there’s a challenge, mind comes up with some messed up scenario..the heart gets scared shittless and then ego comes to the rescue by saying: “Dude, just don’t..sit tight and stfu…OR ELSE..”;)
I usually just try to ignore that bitchy noise in my head, between heart, ego and mind can’t be broken…so the only way is to make them collaborate between each other. I’d say the best way to do that is to accept it and explain the situation to “all parties involved” as you would to a retarded little kid..they all need assurances..
So it’s time to see mind as a mediator between heart and ego and not as a “bad guy” who tries to f*** everything up..:)
Communication is key…and I need to remind myself that more..cos at the end of the day..that’s a solution to everything in life – internal and external influences, states, feelings,..

Intro first blog post..why have a decided to start one?

…apparently to start asking myself extensive questions:)

ok..the answer would be to write down my feelings, experiences, thoughts, information I find important etc.. I wanted to start a blog a while back, but i just couldn’t..someting was off..i couldn’t find the motivation to put myself out there.. It happens when you look at the world and you don’t see anything exciting..when you don’t find passion within..anything I’d write back than would be related to princesses, brainwashing, E.T.s and goat head I’d talk about bullshit. Not that those things aren’t true :), but we all have a choice in life..we can either feed off those negative vibes or actually learn from everything that comes our way..and things that teach you something, aren’t be bad by definition itself. Perception can do wonders, perception is your reality..and when you truly let go of ‘your’ beliefs, start trusting in life and have 100% focus during every interaction you come across, you see how fascinating the whole mechanism is..a place – custom made for each and every one of us..:)

For the past few months…I experienced..felt..some ‘out of this world’ feelings..which made me see behind the curtain..and that is also the reason why I started experimenting more with psychedelics. I know that best feelings come in life when you’re clean, sober..not forcing I am aware that by taking trips, I won’t get transported back to that state of nirvana..but..they do expand my horizon..expand my reality..and that is my main objective see what else is there..within and consequently outside of me..’ll learn all about my past and future experiences..well..probably not all, but close to 90% :)..

Later..I’m off for tonight..:)